Have you ever pondered why some friendships cease to be? Or how your chummy best friend is now a mere acquaintance? Have you ever contemplated what stood between you and him/her? Or did you simply dismiss the case and hold tightly to the memories created?
I’ve had my fair share of broken relationships… Sadly, it doesn’t get easier with experience. Part of what makes us human is the desire to connect, share and be intimate with one another without qualms or fear of judgment. But when that friendship fails, it’s time to move on. It’s time to re-examine what works for you, and what doesn’t, and come to a conclusion as to whether or not your approach to forming a bond with another needs improvement. Some friendships are contingent on frequent communication. Some require more invested time to flourish. Some stay old without much effort. But the underlying commonality is that we never leave a friendship unscathed: we leave a piece of ourselves behind and become that much more aware about ourselves. There and then, we have laid another stone in our paths, waiting only so to be tread on.
Now the balancing charge: not all friendships are doomed to fail after the elephant has slowly crept into the room… Every individual is blessed with a choice: to accept status quo, or lay their cards on the table (tbh, the latter option fills me with anxiety, because taking the first step to bridge communication requires a healthy does of courage). Eleanor Roosevelt once said:
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
I don’t know about you, but I hate to lose. I hate to lose the good feelings and impressions people have towards me. Because of that fear, I sometimes choose to walk away when circumstances indicate that those feelings are wavering. Self-preservation; self-protection; self-denial. To the people I love, this is my advice to you: start today – if you aren’t already intentionally doing so, cherish those around you, let them know (platinum rule: treat others the way they desire to be treated) – and whether or not it succeeds, at least you know you’ve tried.